DOOM: The Dark Ages – Review

TECHNO-BARBARIAN BULLET HELL

In December 1997, I first pressed the Power button on an IBM computer. My first PC, although it was already on its second owner. Maybe even its third. Bought with great effort by my parents, it was eagerly awaited and loved for a long time. I had no idea then how much that central unit with only 24 MB of RAM, 166 MHz, and 2D graphics would influence my life.

The guy who sold it had the divine inspiration to install, in a folder called JOCURI (GAMES), a few landmark titles, including Screamer, Warcraft II, Diablo, Quake, Wolfenstein 3D, and DOOM. As many as would fit on a mere 400 MB HDD, also occupied by Windows 95, among other things.

DOOM. A name that meant nothing to Aidan in 1997, but which has come to be synonymous with one of the most nostalgic periods of my life. DOOM, which I talked about in a video on my YouTube channel, with the same passion with which I replay it every time. DOOM, which is intertwined with how I understand and appreciate any FPS I play today. DOOM, which will never mean the Orthographic, Orthoepic, and Morphological Dictionary, but rather the benchmark by which the impact of any virtual shotgun is measured.

It's very hard for me to write about all the ways this id Software creation has manifested in my existence. Taken as a simple game, DOOM has given me hundreds of hours of fun, in all its versions and iterations – from the original, to the less popular DOOM 3, mods, community-made WADs, the derivatives Heretic and Hexen, and even through the edgy attitude radiated by Romero (whom I, personally, forgive for Daikatana – actually quite cool with a community patch) or the awesome nerdiness Carmack exuded with his turbo Ferrari.

It's hard, because I'm starting to realise that 28 years have passed since then and I'm still fixated on the same old-school formula. No matter what shoot-'em-up I play, I want DOOM to remain DOOM, and the rest of the FPS games to offer me at least a little of that playful experience, perfect in its very simplicity and refinement at a three-dimensional level – a fusion of gameplay, audio-video aesthetics, and level design.

That's why I was angry with Eternal: because, no matter how good it was as a standalone game, it failed to realise its identity. Eternal is anything but a DOOM game. Exactly the same mistake as in 2004, only now with more acrobatics. The 2016 reboot? A completely different story – which is why it remains among my favourites even today. That is a game that understood exactly what and how it needed to do! It saw the box, understood the box, and settled comfortably within it.

So, how could I handle a modern DOOM that rewrites history? How could I open my mind and embrace The Dark Ages without raising insurmountable barriers? There was no need for logical contortionism — because the new game made by id Software and published by Bethesda rewrote my source code, overturned all my preconceptions, and proved to me that it's still possible.

That in 2025 I can learn again to pulverise hordes of demons on memorable maps, with a Super Shotgun in my right hand and a shield in my left. To fly on a cyber-dragon. To trade punches with a mecha-Viking. That it's never too late to be left with my jaw dropped in front of the screen, controller clutched to my chest and eyes wide open.

Of all the FPS games I've ever played, this is the only one I can describe just like this: scorching heavy metal, the epicentre of a dark fantasy earthquake, an iron fist punching nostalgia. Everything I knew about shooters was erased in a single move — because the King has returned with a new pair of nuclear jewels!

TESTICULUS MAXIMUS

Who would win in a battle between Slayer and Master Chief? The right question would actually be: who would win in a mano a mano fight between Slayer and the entire Universe? The chances are slim for the Universe, even if it calls upon the Multiverse – its older brother, experienced in quantum schoolyard brawls. The Dark Ages is the third chapter in the new generation of DOOM, but it acts as a prequel to the 2016 game. And in the prequel, the Slayer is the equivalent of a nuclear bomb with fur on its back and testicles.

I absolutely love the artistic direction they've taken this time: a kind of techno-barbarian dark fantasy pseudo-medieval and shiiiiit, where characters look like savages in spiky armour and plasma weapons. Among them all, The Slayer stands out more than a Space Marine at a Bubu & Dudu plushie convention. Almost mute, clad in his already legendary armour and with a bear scrotum cloak on his shoulders, our man — eternally furious — is kept on a leash by the Maykr and used as a super-weapon. Literally. Like an atomic bomb. Boss, Hell is invading! No problem. Press the red button with your laser-hands and… RELEASE THE DOOM SLAYER!!!

If that had been the entire structure of the game, I wouldn't have been upset. That's how I want my DOOM anyway. But id Software surprised me with the depth of the story in the campaign and the way the narrative is woven around the main hero. You now feel like you're part of a larger picture, of something happening beyond the furious combat, and which tries to tightly link the three modern titles together. That's precisely why it doesn't have online multiplayer: Dark Ages is an exclusively single-player game.

I don't know if it can be heard at the back of the class, but what I'm trying to say here is that these guys have made a DOOM with a rock-solid story, well-defined secondary characters, and cinematics between missions. Argent D'Nur, the dimension of the Sentinels, is attacked by an ambitious demonic prince, who looks suspiciously well-groomed in his Gary Oldman-from-Dracula armour. That kind of prickly and mysterious attitude, with plans that aren't easily unravelled. The opposite of the Slayer — based more on conspiracy and corruption. Against him stand King Novik, Thira, his daughter, and the legions of Sentinels, supported by a Maykr presence that antagonises you more than the armies of devils.

The signed NDA advises me not to give too many details about the story, as it deserves to be discovered mission by mission — and there are over twenty. Nevertheless, I feel the need to appreciate the insane campaign that The Dark Ages maintains through its excellently written script, through visuals that would make Frank Frazetta's lips twitch, and through the soundtrack composed by Finishing Move — a studio that also worked on Halo MCC. Speaking of music: it ROCKS. It's not as metal as in the other two games, but it has an infinitely more atmospheric vibe and is suitable for the locations explored by the Slayer — with the caveat that it becomes damn brutal when you start pumping lead into the soft tissues of demonic beasts.

PH’NGLUI MGLW’NAFH DOOM S’LAYER WGAH’NAGL FHTAGN!

I said that the Slayer now explores, because DOOM: The Dark Ages abandons centralised hub missions and introduces (or reintroduces) an organic, fluid progression, where you move from one episode to another along with the game's story. It's incredible how easily TDA can navigate between linear, claustrophobic and convoluted areas, and huge open spaces full of secrets or gigantic arenas where you destroy armies of devils.

Here is a DOOM that understands the concept of level design and how it is part of the series' DNA — without the jerky platforming artifices of Eternal. Jumps exist here too, only they are based on a single simple mechanic, which I will get to as soon as I start discussing the arsenal, shield, and special abilities.

The classic campaign format, closer to that of the MS-DOS DOOMs than to the central fortress — which reminded me of the Hexen hubs — is ideal for environmental storytelling. And TDA speaks to you through spectacular landscapes and locations, through the theme of each level: from cyber-medieval castles to haunted forests, the deserts of hell, or even a section inspired by Lovecraftian myths.

Anyway, I don't have non-invasive methods to give you too many details without spoilers, so cohesive is the story — and that hurts, because, somewhere towards the end, the new DOOM becomes, by far, the best first-person shooter post-2007 I've ever had the chance to play. The chthonic maps are so incredible that they made me get off the couch in front of the console and play with a knot in my stomach. Amazement, more precisely. I was amazed by the sensations fuelled by the combination of what you see and what you hear. Guys, I swear I'll never forget how it feels to jump through an interdimensional portal, only to then find myself swimming through a cosmic ocean, insatiable for the ships of lost souls. You'll get there and you'll agree with me.

The id Tech 8 graphics engine pulverises everything Unreal Engine 5 can do — at least in a skeletally structured shooter like TDA. How glad I am to see, in 2025, a well-optimised, good-looking game with unique mechanics, built on a proprietary engine. Now that's what I'm talking about! When I watched the first trailer, I wondered if the future Painkiller wasn't more DOOM than The Dark Ages. Now I know the answer to that question: nothing is more DOOM than id Software's new crown jewel. Holy hell, what a game!

BULLET HELL, SHIELD HEAVEN

But Aidan, you ask me, what about the tactical gameplay and the shield at the centre of the FPS mechanics in DOOM The Dark Ages? Exactly! I will answer you very proudly of my rhetoric. Then I will ask you in turn if you know what a bullet hell is. Of course you do, you're veteran gamers with arthritis. But you haven't seen a DOOM bullet hell before, I know that for sure. Well, my dear DOSboi devils, The Dark Ages is a first-person shooter where shooting is only a small part of what makes it a shooter. I will try to explain the bang-bang boom-boom mechanic of doom-doom in the form of simple mathematical calculations:

1) The Slayer lands like a 10-megaton bomb in the middle of a legion of satans + The Slayer chooses a weapon, such as the Skull Shredder, and starts shooting at the first beast breathing near him = the beast dramatically explodes.

2) The Slayer continues to shoot until he runs out of skulls to shred + three punches with the iron melee glove into the juiciest devil = ammunition, health, and armour stock are replenished.

3) The Slayer continues to make Wiener schnitzel out of the sarsailă, but a brave scaraoțchi retaliates with a red attack and a green Hell Surge + The Slayer blocks the green attack in time with his shield = the beast takes one of three possible retaliation effects.

The cool thing is that between ten and two billion such attacks come at the Slayer simultaneously, for which there is the glorious Shield Saw – a shield with a chainsaw blade around its circumference. The coolest toy introduced in a DOOM so far. It can be thrown at demons like a harmful frisbee to the jugular, applies a stun effect to large enemies, allows a long-range charge, or can block red damage. Like a Swiss Army knife. It is the central element in the game's battles and I wholeheartedly recommend it as the first thing to upgrade. It even tends to become the main tool against weak monsters and the imperative tactical element.

Not that the Slayer lacks weapons, God forbid! However, when the movement in TDA approaches that of Uprising or Hover Tank Arena, giving the feeling that you're piloting a supersonic and invincible tank, it's preferable that the guns are up to par too. TDA delivers in spades in this chapter. From the classic Super Shotgun, Plasma Rifle, and Rocket Launcher, the arsenal is spiced up with a skull-shredding machine gun that fires hot bone fragments, a chain cannon (my favourite, it behaves like a chameleon's tongue), and a crossbow that replaces the BFG with the BFC. Oh, yes — they all also have a secondary version, with slightly modified properties. Double the guns, twice the fun! As for melee, the Slayer has a chain mace, a club, and an iron gauntlet at his belt, each with unique special properties, even if the main purpose remains ammunition extraction.

Each weapon maintains the dark fantasy sci-fi theme and looks incredible, especially since new skins can be discovered in secret areas or by completing special objectives. There are countless hidden nooks behind destructible walls, which can be broken using the shield. There you'll find piles of gold and gems useful for unlocking upgrades to weapons, melee attacks, and the Shield Saw. Other times, a coloured key must be sought or a button blocked with a shield throw. Easy, but satisfying puzzles.

Everything costs, but thorough exploration is always rewarded with resources. Plus, you no longer run out of health and ammo like in Eternal, because the maps are riddled with pickups, like in a true old-school shooter. By the way, from the settings, the classic Doomguy face can be chosen to indicate health status, and I say that's the only acceptable way TDA should be played.

DRAGONS, GUNDAM AND A COLD 10/10 BEER

Occasionally, the on-foot action is interrupted by sections where our beloved Slayer pilots a cyber-dragon or dons the boots of a mech-Atlan, as tall as a 30-storey building. The vehicular episodes are more complex than I initially expected, especially those with the dragon. Beyond the cool factor, these missions also offer a welcome respite between battles with conventional weapons. Admittedly, in the Atlan you move along a corridor, almost on-rails, and punch Titan demons, after dodging their attacks in the right time window. Great for a power trip, especially since the game takes care to correctly pace these sequences.

With the dragon, things are different — and these were my favourite moments. Only when you fly do you truly begin to understand the scale of the levels, especially since I was free to execute any manoeuvre that came to mind. You're still in a kind of arena, only infinitely more vertical and, simultaneously, labyrinthine, with underground passages where you hunt demonic ships and fight gigantic destroyers that fire attacks designed specifically to make the timing and direction of a dodge as difficult as possible.

DOOM: The Dark Ages is the game I wasn't waiting for since 2007, when gaming made an impressive technological leap, but since 1997, from that press of the Power button on my first computer. It is the game that, without necessarily intending to, rewrites history — the way, at least for me, a modern FPS is defined and the essence of what we broadly call a boomer shooter today. Because it is more than that. TDA mixes, in perfect quantities and concentrations, old and new elements. The result is alchemical: pure gold. Fire up your console or PC, grab a solid 7s beer from the fridge, then savour it from start to finish and embrace everything it has to offer.

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Played on: PS5
Release date: 15 May 2025
Developer: id Software
Publisher: Bethesda Softworks